Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Eyesore Profile: Congressman Tom Price

His creepy moustache really makes him look like a future guest on To Catch a Predator. Representing Georgia's 6th Congressional District, Tom Price is a member of what I'll now call the "House Loudmouth Coalition." Marsha Blackburn and Ted Poe are also a members, as are other morons who I'll write about at a later date. Basically, it's mainly a group of right-wing Southern Republicans who like to get up on their soapboxes during 1 minute speeches on frankly any subject that gets them free air time. Let's just say that Tom Price is a repeat offender, no subtle pun intended.

This might come across as mean, but 'd highly recommend keeping this man away from young children, your fetus, a microphone, a camera or any other thing that he might offend, screw up, etc.

Wicked Witch of the West

Congresswoman Barbara Cubin (R-WY) doesn't sound like a very nice or pleasant "lady." By the looks of this picture, she could easily whip out a pic axe and go to town on anyone who pisses her off. My guess is she probably packs some kind of heat, Wild West style, since she's your typical gun-toting Republican nutcase.

Some past (fucked up) statements:

"There still exists broad disagreement within the scientific community on the extent to which humans actually contribute to the Earth's temperature changes." Keep dreaming Babs.

"My sons are 25 and 30. They are blonde-haired and blue-eyed. One amendment today said we could not sell guns to anybody under drug treatment. So does that mean if you go into a black community, you cannot sell a gun to any black person..." I love her subtle racism.

"I know what Victoria's Secret is. She's a slut." Have you looked in the mirror recently? Too much makeup.

"We are bending over and taking it from the Democrats." This said during the Florida presidential recount in 2000. When a colleague objected to her vulgar language, she shot back: "Quiet down or you'll get a spanking." How sassy.

Fortunately she's chosen to not run for re-election, so the House will soon lose yet another worthless potty-mouthed "public servant."

Friday, August 22, 2008

Marilyn Musgrave....One Pale Whale

Is it just me or does Congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO) need about fifteen sessions at her neighborhood tanning salon? In this particular photo above, she looks as though she's either a) perking her chest in a Katherine Harris-esque fashion or b) on the verge of taking one gigantic bowel movement.

A devout Pentecostal, Musgrave is also a raging homophobe. She got her start in politics serving on her local school board, where she helped usher an abstinence-only curriculum that so many other Republicans adore. She then served in the Colorado Legislature where she was rabidly a "Pro-Life" zealot.

Perhaps her most endearing quality, however, is her sponsorship of the Federal Marriage Amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. During the whole process, she once even proclaimed, "I don't think there's anything more important out there than the marriage issue." So in Musgrave's world, terrorism, unemployment, poverty, etc. aren't nearly as important as making sure two individuals of the same sex never get the opportunity to marry one another. Here she is with a close personal friend:

The voters of Colorado's 4th Congressional District appear to be huge morons, as they re-elected her to the House in 2004 and 2006, despite having her most recent opponent, Angie Paccione, who clearly had more wisdom, intelligence and compassion than Marilyn is ever capable of:

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Peterson's Ring Obsession

I had the pleasure of attending a hearing on Capitol Hill a few months ago on the Department of Labor's shenanigans and Congressman John E. Peterson (R-PA) automatically caught my eye. Not because of his stunning good looks or charming oratory, but because of all the tacky rings he wears. It's like he went on the set of Snatch and took off with half of their inventory.

Republicans have never known to be fashion icons, but he needs to seriously lay off the sleazy jewelry and stick to politicking. The pinky finger ring is probably the worst out of them all. It screams Used Car Salesman or Pawn Shop Owner.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Congresswoman Heather Wilson (R-NM)

Is it just me or does Heather Wilson, Albuquerque's own member of Congress, look like one big turbo dyke? This picture reminds me of a professor I had in college who also attempted the button-down oxford shirt, sportcoat and khaki look while pretending not to be a lesbian. The wallet she carried around in her back pocket didn't fool anyone.

Heather Wilson really knows how to deliver a punch. She ran a nasty campaign against Patricia Madrid in 2006 based on typical Republican terrorist fearmongering and barely won. Just like her pal Katherine Harris, a seat in Congress wasn't enough - she had to aim higher. So she chose to give up her House seat and make a run for the U.S. Senate, deceiving voters as she had in years past.

But don't take my word for it...check out this TV ad from her failed U.S. Senate primary campaign and listen to her strong, commanding voice:

"I'm Heather Wilson and I approve this message." I'm sure you do...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Staten Island's Baby Daddy

Congressman Vito Fossella (R-NY) reminds us of the arrogant hypocrisy of Republican lawmakers. After being charged with drunk driving a few months ago (after an apparently crazy night at Logan Tavern), the press learned that he had fathered a child out of wedlock.

I would be more excited about this mugshot, but mugshots of Republican Congressmen have become rather perfunctory these days.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Marsha, Put a Sock in It!

Loudmouth Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) is painful to listen to and is one of a handful of House Republicans who constantly seek C-Span's limelight and go to the House floor to rant and rave about something just to get air time. An example:

Funny how she used the typical GOP talking points on war and sacrifice, yet when on a national cable news show made a complete moron out of herself by not being able to name a soldier from her district who had died in Iraq:

Why do her constituents continue to send such a sleazy lawmaker back to Congress? Well when you pack enough Republicans into one congressional district, anything is possible. I've disliked Marsha Blackburn and her loudmouthed bs for years as she's one of the more obnoxious Republicans I can needless to say, I was delighted to discover this trashy glamour shot from her earlier days as an "Image Consultant." You can't get any more Republican than this...